Friday, March 24, 2006

When they packed up & left
it was as if (overnight)
the whole sea had been drained.
& though the rivers we cried
flowed like the Amazon,
our tears dried in the dust.

In the end, we had nothing
left to give & our sobs
became sighs, became thoughts
that danced on the edge of the flames
of our waking minds & ran
wild in the gloom of our sleep.

They rose like swallows on
an August evening.
They went in search of a last
& final forever,
while we did dishes, took
out trash & watched reruns.

I'll follow them someday,
slough these chores like a snake
from its skin, rising at dusk
as a swift shadow against
the blue night, a rocket
to an undiscovered star.

2 Comments:

At 4:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll follow them someday,
slough these chores like a snake
from its skin, rising at dusk
as a swift shadow against
the blue night, a rocket
to an undiscovered star.

This is damn good, especially "slough these chores like a snake/from its skin..."

I think practice had made you better, O master of open -source poetry.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Lee said...

Thanks, Dave. There are many lines or phrases I'm pleased with in this one, but I may agree that sloughing is the best one. I think it combines sound, image and plays on the word slough well.

Endings are always difficult for me and this poems was no different. I wish I could scan the page I wrote this on. The amount of false starts and refinements is pleasing to the eye.

Here are a few approaching the end:

Who knows, but one day I
too may go

Or:

I may go shed

Or:

I, too, may go someday,
shed these daily chores like
some

It is amazing that better words ever come.

 

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