Variations from before:

Variation #1

I hear the seagulls
booming like a bass drum.
Their absence is so loud.

Variation #2

Up springs the serpent Truth:

"Shake off this dust
& go into the world,
for here is death."

& every angry inch of him rings true.

These wasted years are gone.
Winter's end is near;
spring comes on slender rays of sun.

Soon leaves will splay my mind
& I may find the words
I've lost beneath the ice.

There is a time,
There is...

Jack-o-Lantern
on the windowsill,
I scare you.

This world of dew
is only a world of dew,
and yet, and yet...

- Issa (1763-1827)


What better expression can I find to explain the way I feel?

I plan to write, but feel like it at work when I shouldn't, and not when I'm home and should. But I will write, I'll talk about taking death seriously, about understanding, reason. About inner peace and imperfect harmony. If I had time and will enough, I could get at so much...

Morning Commute

Sunrise above dockyard
black cranes, red sea

Clouds break against islands
in the harbor

How long until a ship
sets sail for me?

I hear the seagulls,
though they've left for warmer shores.
I hear their absence.

:) That is funny about the new VW Bug. Yes I am sure we transmit a lot and that children being very impressionable probably pick up a lot from us.

I do not like Pedro still much as I rooted for him yesterday. He's still a jerk. Taking responsibility does very little mitigating of that fact. Clemens and Pettitte would take responsibility for a poor start and Wells and Weaver wouldn't, but they are all losers to me. I do like Mussina and believe he ws justified when he said he only controlled 60. 5 feet. He pitched well that start, why should he be attacked. By the way, if not for the Moose, the Sox might have won last night.

I was pretty heart-broken about the game and I too felt Pedro should have been taken out. Does this mean I will have to listen two more times as Clemens is lauded as the finest pitcher and how that might be his final appearance? At the end I started thinking the Sox might win it still. Once Rivera had gone five I saw a huge advantage going to the sox if only they could get through the bottom of the 11th.

It was classy that NY fans(not known for class) cheered Clemens despite the situation they put them in.

Go Fish! I guess I was wrong at the beginning of the season for questioning the 10 mil they paid for I-Rod.

I've never been a Pedro Martinez fan (though he is sure an impressive pitcher), but these comments so clearly separate him from a whiner like Mussina that my hat's off to him:

``He asked me if I had enough ... in my tank to get him out, and I said `Yes.' I would never say no,'' Martinez said. ``There's no reason to blame Grady. Grady doesn't play the game, I do. If you want to judge me or criticize me or curse me or whatever, I will swallow that, because I am responsible.''

When Grady Little left Pedro in, I shook my head in disbelief. Even sitting in my dark room in Helsinki, watching the jerky images on my computer screen, I could tell Martinez had had enough. I thought exactly what Pedro said above, he'd never say take me out, please when the game was on the line. What a bad decision on Little's part. But Pedro says the right thing. I've read before that poor run support doesn't bother him, since it's up to him to keep the other team from scoring. He may be nasty. He may treat senior citizens poorly, but at least the buck stops with him. (In his own mind anyway.)

P.S. I am glad I'm not a Red Sox fan. My disappointment at their lose (when it was so close) (or more accurately the Yankees's win) is pretty intense without actually caring about the teams fortune. It must be killing the Boston faithful.

P.P.S. It is amazingly easy to transmit your own biases down to your children. Matilda has picked up every negative vibe I've ever had about the Yankees and displays an astonishing anti-Yankees bias. No wonder racism is such a persistant problem. There are biases Matilda has picked up from me that never realized I imparted, like my anti new VW bug stance. Upon seeing one Matilda began to says how the new bug had lost all the magic and simple style of the original. My words coming back to me.

I predict he won't. Everyone wants someone to rally behind and once that rallying point is set up everyone will fall in line since they don't truly know the difference between one democratic canidate and another. I think Clark has been annointed and it is about time for things to shake out and people to get in line.

I enjoyed this Slate piece by William Saleton. I like his work in general. I predicted early this year that Dean would have a good showing in the Democratic Primary, back when he was trying to get people to remember his name.

Pretty picture, pretty words!

Up springs the serpent Truth decanting words:

"Shake off this dust & go into the world.
Go where you're meant to be, for here is death."

& every angry inch of him rings true.
These wasted years are gone. Winter's end is
near; spring comes triumphant on slender rays
of golden sun. Not yet, but soon green leaves
will splay my mind & I may find the words
I've lost beneath this comfortable ice.

There is a time & nothing hurries it,
be ready when the hour opens bedlam.

I think BYK is sitting because he's a mental case that can't exorcise his demons. But then aren't we all?

Last night I saw a spectacular display of Aurora Borealis. It's not often we get it down here, but it was sure impressive. It was over though really quickly.

Wow, if you were any deeper, you'd echo!

I like you'r last few posts.

Do you think BYK is sitting because he has a shoulder problem, cause he made an obscene gesture at Red Sox fans, or because his previous post season difficulty verses the Yankees?

When it's time to be up high, climb the highest mountain. When it's time to be low, find the deepest well. Act when the time comes.

And as Bukowski says, no matter how little a man has, he'll always settle for less.

I'm Waiting for a Rueben

Now it's corned beef on rye, but then next thing
you know it's bologne on Wonder bread.
That's how it goes, while everything else keeps
right on as if nothing was different.

Like Before

Or do I mean like yesterday’s island
of content, found for a full half hour, at least;
where nothing mattered, but the rain that washed
the leaves from trees & played my mind to sleep?

I’d like to say it is, but every
moment’s different & today’s bliss in time
becomes tomorrow’s wound; a parting of
ways, where any step takes me further from
where I began, though it’s still too early
to tell if it’s finally the right direction,
or even if there is one way to go
that won’t leave me just as I was before.

If only I could be as I was before.

They say when picking Trumpet Chanterelle that if you find one, you find a hundred. I proved the exception to that rule. While Niko, my workmate and friend, found dozens in one or two places, I found one loner growing by itself on a clump of moss. I've been told by everyone how rare that is, but it's my only experience harvesting these mushrooms.

I'm glad it's come down to the Red Sox vs. the Yankees. Yes, the behemoth have bought their reward, but it is fitting after the clashes throughout the year that they meet in the ALCS. The Yankees are the only true path to the World Series the Red Sox can take, especially since they didn't win the division. And besides, what better way to lay aside the Curse of the Bambino than defeating his team on their way to victory?

As far as the NLCS, while a Boston-Chicago Series would be interesting, I still like the Fish. Besides, I always liked Conine and hope his team does well...

Let's Say This & Try Again

Maybe it's time for me to leave this place.
I've tried to act like I belong, I've done
the things that others do, but still it feels
like somewhere far away, somewhere I don't
remember, though I've heard since I was a kid
of how I went here & saw that, & how I spoke
a language that no longer comes out as
clear chords, but creaks like a rusty guitar
into an empty room, a room I know
in a place I don't, or won't, or even can't.

You you must. I'd like to hear.

Change is the essense of life, but I think Murray will find B'lmore is not Maryvale. So, yes, I hope he doesn't wind up manager. This off season may lead to the first hopeful Orioles spring in years, I don't think it's time to dabble with unknown quantities.

I still must write my impressions of France up before all the memories fade away. Already it seems like I was never there...